Look around. I mean really look around. Your bathroom is not properly ventilated, so when you are not relieving yourself in the humidity of your own home, you’re scrubbing mold off of your ceiling. You also spent two weeks after you moved in chiseling six layers of paint off of your outlet covers so that you can plug in your $400 juicer that you only used that once. This place sucks and it is breaking everyone’s bank…
So why do we stay?
1. Moving Costs
You can’t even process the thought of paying another first month’s rent, last month’s rent, security deposit, and broker fee. I mean, really though, the mold on the ceiling in the bathroom and the hallway that always smells like shoe cabbage is not REALLY that bad… right?
2. Time Consuming Search
Between your first job, your second job, your three freelance jobs, your passion project, and Sunday brunch in Chelsea, there is NO time to do a search on six different platforms just to get the run-around from 16 different brokers. Living in the squalor of your first NYC apartment doesn’t seem so bad when you actually consider the alternative.
3. Can’t Find Roommates
You have now had to start hoarding peanut butter under your bed to protect it from the unforgiving grips of Sheila, your flatulent roommate. You want so badly to leave the apartment and Lady McGassy, but how the heck will you find someone sane and responsible?
4. Can’t Find Somewhere that Takes Pets
Your friends make fun of your relationship with your cats, and they are right to. It is totally weird to love something so much that just does not care for you at all. Stop making excuses for them. They suck. However, your landlord has been totally cool about their existence and you cannot even stomach the thought of a week without changing the litter box.
5. You’re Lazy
You have your routine and you sure as heck are not inviting any more stress into your life. How could someone seriously ask you to replace two of the six daily hours of your Netflix viewing with actually searching for a home? It is selfish and uncalled for and people need to mind their own business.
– reaches for Double Stuffed Oreos and presses play on Vampire Diaries season 4 episode 6 –
6. Market Conditions
You don’t even know. You have just heard office ramblings about “low inventory” and “high competition.” How expensive could it actually be to find a new apartment? Have rents really risen by 8% again this year?!